If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
