wanna go halves on a baby?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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