so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
