Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
