You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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