it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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