I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
