remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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