if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
And then he peed in my hair
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