Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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