do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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