my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
