I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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