This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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