your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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