no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
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He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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