She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
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