I want to stick my p in your. b.
from now on my penis is your penis
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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