He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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