i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
