So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize