Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
