good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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