my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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