i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
