atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I can't put those talents on a resume
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
