I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
