I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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