ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
