At least make sure they are 18
Why
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
