i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
