'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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