I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
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Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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