I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
