Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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