You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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