We're facebook friends in real life
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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