Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
