Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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