the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
