I feel like abortions should bother me more
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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