she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
