he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
