Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
