Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
