I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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