Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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