He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
