We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
