is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
