you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
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