I heard we made out
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
