Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize