I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize