There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
