I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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