.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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