i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
