are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
