I wish you could order shots online.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
