Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm at about main and main street
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
