I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think i have two assholes
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
