he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
