My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
