I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
